Characters:

 

Evil Landlord

Female Tenant

Male Hero

Sociology Professor with a concentration in Gender Studies

 

Scene: none, except for one prop - a single piece of paper folded into an accordion.

 

Enter Actor.  Picks up piece of paper, holds it in the middle, and places it under his nose - a mustache.  He is now the evil landlord

 

Evil Landlord: You must pay the rent!

 

Actor now places the piece of paper, still holding in middle, on top of his head - a bow.  He is now the female tenant.

 

Female Tenant:  I can’t pay the rent!

 

Evil Landlord: You must pay the rent!

 

Female Tenant: I can’t pay the rent!

 

Actor now place piece of paper in front of his collar - a bow-tie.  He is now the Male Hero.

 

Male Hero:  I’ll pay the rent!

 

Female Tenant:  My…

 

Actor now places the piece of paper diagonally from his chin - a goatee.  He is now the Sociology Professor with a concentration in Gender Studies.

 

Sociology Professor:  Excuse me, but aren’t you dragging out the same old misogynist act of saving the “helpless” female.

 

Male Hero:  Well, I…I’m not…

 

Sociology Professor: Why not try another approach?

 

Male Hero:  Okay…ahem…I’ll punch the Evil Landlord in the face!

 

Sociology Professor:  No, no, no.  Now your relying on the old male paradigm of conflict resolution - don’t fall-back on the ways you were socialized to repress any feelings of vulnerability or sadness by acting out aggressively.  You can certainly think beyond that.

 

Male Hero:  You think so?  Okay, what about this:  I’ll pay the rent and you can pay me back!

 

Sociology Professor:  No!  Now you’re saving her again.

 

Female Tenant: Listen, I need to get going.

 

Sociology Professor: Please do not interrupt me.  I am talking.  Male Hero, go ahead.

 

Male Hero:  I’ll share the burden of paying the rent!

 

Sociology Professor:  Closer.  But what about countering the ways in which she was socialized to look toward others to help her?

 

Evil Landlord: This is Gay.  I’m out of here.

 

Sociology Professor: Gay?  Great now let’s throw some homophobia into the mix…

 

Male Hero: How about this Sociology Professor - I’ll do what you need me to do to feel more empowered!

 

Female Tenant:  I’m leaving, too.  I have a date with a biker, anyway.

 

Sociology Professor: Oh, that’s nice - give males the message that women really want the “tough-guy”. Why not date a poet?  Or a college professor?

 

Female Tenant: Yuck!

 

Evil Landlord: Do what you all want, I’m going to contact my lawyer.

 

Male Hero:  Now what do I do?

 

Sociology Professor:  Well, now that you’ve made some realizations about the ways that traditional gender roles have boxed you into a corner, why don’t you and I - two heterosexual males - go out to a movie together as friends.

 

Male Hero: Sure, but only if we keep an empty seat between us.

 

Comments

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• 4
  snaps

  From Eric_Stevenson 2 years, 3 months ago
  HA awesome. I've also noticed that the one-empty-spot-between rule is also strictly observed in bathroom urinal selection.
  

• 3
  snaps

  From mgn 2 years, 3 months ago
  You know, the evil landlord actually seems pretty reasonable to me
  
  • 2
    snaps

    From clevergrrl 2 years, 3 months ago
    That's because you're conditioned to see male authority figures that way. Probably stems from repressed oedipal tendencies